Seasons

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I can be as warm as sunny days

And I can be as cold as winter times

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Springs and falls come and go

Winter freezes emotions

And the warmth of summer

Can melt the frozen pain

And make the bearer suffer again

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Face Mask

I’m hurting. I could feel the pain inside me that I cannot show to the world. I have to be strong around the people. I am strong but I go home like a zombie, a rotten fruit and a withered rose. I go the the comfort room. Spend a minute to cry,wash my face and goes out like nothing happened. When was the last time I smiled dearly? When was the last time I had a stomach ache because of laughing from too much happiness? I can’t remember. I must have been too weak but I kept on pretending I was strong. I can’t be strong always. I only have to be tough knowing how rough the road is. I thought I was doing great but I had nightmares that I thought beautiful dreams. I was thirsty but I felt like drowning. Hunger have been chasing me but my body is too full of anxiety, stress and negative energy. I’m hurt. I’m disappointed an I’m burned out.

So if you see me smiling, stop thinking I am happy. I smile because I want to convince myself that I am stronger than my loneliness. I have to tell myself that I can survive the storm in my brain and the thunder in my spirit.

-Sabbina

A Letter to my Future Child

Dearest Child,

Today you might have grown so well and beautiful. I hope you are.

I know you want to be appreciated that’s why I tried my best to make you feel real praises from real people. I tried to develop a nice character inside you while I did my best to let your appearance lovely.

I also know how you wanted to be loved. I let you felt that real love. I taught you how to love yourself first before others will ever do so. Remember to always love yourself and others also. You are lovely because you are beautiful inside and out. You are lovable. And if ever someone will attempt to break you, always remember to love them still so you will become unbreakable. Always choose to remain loving and forgiving. In that way, you will always feel loved.

I put you on the shoe of everyone. I believe I thought you how to live the life of other people. You must learn to respect different kind of people. You have no right to belittle others. You respect them and they will respect you in whatever way you want.

I know you dreamt of a man who can make you whole. So I really tried to teach you how to treat him nicely. I also made you be tough but kindhearted. I also taught you how to cook and just like relationships, there are times that you put the right amount of ingredients that’s why it tastes delicious. But sometimes you put more or less and it tastes not really good. I am so proud of you when you tried to fix it by balancing the ingredients you put. You were taught to always fix anything that is broken. Even if it’s impossible, you put more efforts until you atleast almost fixed it.

But I also know that no one is perfect. The time might come that the road will get wet and you might slip and lose your balance or maybe it will get rough that you might stop to travel. Please keep going. You are just one of the many. Just like them, you will try your best to move and succeed.

I hope that you will not use your feet to kick other people. I taught you how to walk because I want you to grow up helping those people who cannot move on from the circumstances of their lives. Be their feet to go to beautiful and stable places.

I hope you will use your knees to kneel and pray to God for equal protection, good health and good will for all. Do not use it to beg other people to stay.

I hope you use your hands to extend help to those needy people. Never ever use them to pinpoint others and shame them just to get the fame. Always use your hands for helping others. Never use those hands for slapping because I know they are tough enough to break their personality and yours as well.

I taught you how to talk because I want you to use them to lift others from lack of confidence and lack of courage to speak what their hearts are crying for. Tell them inspiring words and lessons. Never use your mouth to speak wrong against your neighbor, use your lips to smile and nit to pout. It is not nice to see.

I saw in your eyes that you will be living just. Never use them to see the fault, mistakes and imperfections of others. Never judge them because of what you saw in their eyes. Learn to understand them deeply.

Your head was formed perfectly but yo must not lift them so high to look don on others. Always stay humble. Someone must be higher than you but tey chose to stay low because they know that one day they will be bowing. Nothing about richness can be constant. You just lift you head when you feel dizzy and bow down to pray.

Your heart must have been taken very carefully but it is really fragile. Don’t let someone break it. But, if ever your heart will be broken one day, stay nice because if you revenge and do bad things, you broke it for the second time.

Child, I tried to teach you these because I do not want to make you feel and experience what I had been through. I love you and I always do love you.

PS. The moment you read this letter, rewrite it for your future children. The world is changing fr the worst so w must begin to rebuild goodness in this world.

-Sabbina